I can't do it alone. I can try to do it alone. And try, I will. And have. And do often.But it's never enough. It brings me to my knees and makes me feel stupid and helpless ALL OVER AGAIN.
There is a reason why my God loves me enough to lead me and carry me through hard moments and days. Because I need Him and because I need to be carried. So, I stopped fighting back and let him carry me.
And this is what happened...
I have learned more in this one year than I ever, ever have. I have painstakingly allowed God to prune me of every last leaf and fruit until I felt like nothing more but a helpless, little twig. And now? Now, he's brought me to a much sunnier place. He's allowed me to feel the grass beneath my feet, the sun on my shoulders and the joy of the green leaves and tiny fruit slowly coming back to life. I can finally see now that all along He was growing in me a deeper hunger for Him. A deeper need for Him. I see now that it was so very worth it.
Thank you, Jesus, for giving me the joy and challenge of loving/teaching twenty three little people this year. Thank you for making a learner out of this elementary school teacher.